Making WoD Creatures Frenzy


How to get the Vampires to Frenzy

Brujah: "Thank you for supporting the Establishment."
Gangrel: "I think that wolves should be hunted to extinction! The hell with the environment!"
Malkavian: "You are perfectly sane, and we're sending you home!"
Nosferatu: "Hey Pretty Boy!"
Toreador: "I've seen better art on motel walls, and your mother dresses you funny."
Tremere: "You didn't know that? Everybody knows that!"
Ventrue: Place a "Kick Me" sign on his back, signed by his Sire.

How to give the Werewolves Rage

Black Fury: call her "Babe."
Bone Gnawers: "Hey Rich Boy! You smell pretty. What, you out slummin?"
Children of Gaia: Force them to take a vow of celibacy, and tell everyone about it.
Fianna: Insist that every Metis in the sept is theirs.
Get of Fenris: Look at him funny and tell him that he's a wimp.
Glass Walkers: "Mac beats IBM paws down!"
Red Talons: "Nice Doggie!" and pet them.
Shadowlords: "That plan for world domination didn't work for Pinky and the Brain; what makes you think it'll work for you?"
Silent Striders: Insist that they settle down and raise a family, in a nice little home with a white picket fence in the suburbs.
Silver Fangs: "My great-great-great grandfather beat up your great-great-great grandfather!"
Stargazers: "Hey! Your Karma ran over my Dogma!"
Uktena: "I've got a secret! I'm not telling!"
Wendigo: Invite them to a cowboy film festival.

How to make the Mages flip out

Akashic Brotherhood: "You can't fight your way out of a wet paper bag!"
Celestial Chorus: "If there was a God, your voice would scare him away!"
Cult of Ecstasy: "You are so dull and mundane!"
Dreamspeakers: Tell them that the spirits hate them, that YOU were the one they told.
Euthanatos: Call them "a lifesaver."
Hollow Ones: "You are SOOOOOOOO Cheerful!"
Order of Hermes: "Haven't you ever heard of tradition?!"
Sons Of Ether: "Oh, I already discovered that!"
Verbena: "You killed my plant!"
Virtual Adept: Give the computer a cold!

How To Tick Off The Changelings

Trolls: "You lied to me, you shiftless, oathbreaking, spineless SOB!" pause a moment and add, "Just Kidding!"
Redcaps: They don't need anything; they're already ticked off anyhow.
Eshu: nail one foot to the floor, so they can only move in circles.
Nockers: "Simple-minded wuss couldn't hammer a nail!"
Pooka: "Everything you just said was soooooo true!"
Satyr: "You were the worst lover I've ever had, and that impotence isn't going to go away!"
Sidhe: "Bloody common twit"
Sluagh: invite them to a Megadeth concert
Boggans: "Gossiping is a sin, you know. You can go to HELL for that.."


Back to The Humor Files Page.

Copyright 2003-2005 Robin Connor. All Rights Reserved.